During the Rachel's Vineyard Post-abortion Healing Retreats, those who have been hurt by abortion share not only their experience of the abortion, but their relationships. We tell of the father or mother of our child and their part in the event. Sometimes we also discuss our previous relationships which often determined how we have come to where we are.
My conclusion as a facilitator as well as a retreatant and post-abortive father myself is that we allowed ourselves to get into and stay in relationships in which we ignored signs that clearly showed us that this person was not good for us. How does this person treat their mother and father? How do they treat people they meet on the street? Do they speak ill of the homeless or are they compassionate of their plight and while they may not hand them a dollar on the street do they respect them as human beings?
I use John Paul II's Theology of the Body as my focus in thinking about relationships. While a woman is called to be obedient to her husband, he is called to be a servant to his wife. In reality these two "actions" are complimentary. One cannot be obediant without serving and one cannot serve without being obediant to the needs of the other.
As I think of my grand daughter I hope and pray that she will grow up to be independant, compassionate and intellegent, I also pray that God, according to His will, will lead her to a man who is willing to suffer and die for her as Christ died for his bride the Church. This does not mean that he is willing to physically die in her place, though that is part of it. For a husband to die for his wife is to give of himself unselfishly. To be willing to die and be born again every day in Christ. This cannot be known by words alone, but must be demonstated by actions, 'both and" not "either or".
How does he treat you, not how do you "feel" about him. How does he treat your children? Is he willing to sacifice his own pleasure (willing to die) for you? Are you willing to sacrifice your pleasure for him? Are we willing to die to our own worldly desires in order to truly live as Christ would have us live? Are we willing to drink of the cup?
This is not to say that we do not have a right to pleasure. Certainly God has blessed us with bodies with which to enjoy His many gifts, but sometimes we have to set aside what we want for the ones we love.
Watch his actions and listen to his words when he doesn't know you are. In those moments he will reveal himself. In moments of pressure or surprise, when a driver cuts him off on the road how does he react? When he locks his keys in his car? How he reacts at these little things will reveal how he will react to the bigger things and the spritual things.
Now consider Christ and the moneychangers at the Temple. Christ demonstrated an anger of justice, so there are times of justified anger or even frustration. If we know Christ we will know if he or she has a Christ like soul.
I hope this helps. It is somewhat hard to articulate, like answering the question, "How do you know you are in love?" Well, if you know Christ you will know when you are in love.
My conclusion as a facilitator as well as a retreatant and post-abortive father myself is that we allowed ourselves to get into and stay in relationships in which we ignored signs that clearly showed us that this person was not good for us. How does this person treat their mother and father? How do they treat people they meet on the street? Do they speak ill of the homeless or are they compassionate of their plight and while they may not hand them a dollar on the street do they respect them as human beings?
I use John Paul II's Theology of the Body as my focus in thinking about relationships. While a woman is called to be obedient to her husband, he is called to be a servant to his wife. In reality these two "actions" are complimentary. One cannot be obediant without serving and one cannot serve without being obediant to the needs of the other.
As I think of my grand daughter I hope and pray that she will grow up to be independant, compassionate and intellegent, I also pray that God, according to His will, will lead her to a man who is willing to suffer and die for her as Christ died for his bride the Church. This does not mean that he is willing to physically die in her place, though that is part of it. For a husband to die for his wife is to give of himself unselfishly. To be willing to die and be born again every day in Christ. This cannot be known by words alone, but must be demonstated by actions, 'both and" not "either or".
How does he treat you, not how do you "feel" about him. How does he treat your children? Is he willing to sacifice his own pleasure (willing to die) for you? Are you willing to sacrifice your pleasure for him? Are we willing to die to our own worldly desires in order to truly live as Christ would have us live? Are we willing to drink of the cup?
This is not to say that we do not have a right to pleasure. Certainly God has blessed us with bodies with which to enjoy His many gifts, but sometimes we have to set aside what we want for the ones we love.
Watch his actions and listen to his words when he doesn't know you are. In those moments he will reveal himself. In moments of pressure or surprise, when a driver cuts him off on the road how does he react? When he locks his keys in his car? How he reacts at these little things will reveal how he will react to the bigger things and the spritual things.
Now consider Christ and the moneychangers at the Temple. Christ demonstrated an anger of justice, so there are times of justified anger or even frustration. If we know Christ we will know if he or she has a Christ like soul.
I hope this helps. It is somewhat hard to articulate, like answering the question, "How do you know you are in love?" Well, if you know Christ you will know when you are in love.
