How Do You Know When You Are In Love?

During the Rachel's Vineyard Post-abortion Healing Retreats, those who have been hurt by abortion share not only their experience of the abortion, but their relationships. We tell of the father or mother of our child and their part in the event. Sometimes we also discuss our previous relationships which often determined how we have come to where we are.


My conclusion as a facilitator as well as a retreatant and post-abortive father myself is that we allowed ourselves to get into and stay in relationships in which we ignored signs that clearly showed us that this person was not good for us. How does this person treat their mother and father? How do they treat people they meet on the street? Do they speak ill of the homeless or are they compassionate of their plight and while they may not hand them a dollar on the street do they respect them as human beings?

I use John Paul II's Theology of the Body as my focus in thinking about relationships. While a woman is called to be obedient to her husband, he is called to be a servant to his wife. In reality these two "actions" are complimentary. One cannot be obediant without serving and one cannot serve without being obediant to the needs of the other.

As I think of my grand daughter I hope and pray that she will grow up to be independant, compassionate and intellegent, I also pray that God, according to His will, will lead her to a man who is willing to suffer and die for her as Christ died for his bride the Church. This does not mean that he is willing to physically die in her place, though that is part of it. For a husband to die for his wife is to give of himself unselfishly. To be willing to die and be born again every day in Christ. This cannot be known by words alone, but must be demonstated by actions, 'both and" not "either or".

How does he treat you, not how do you "feel" about him. How does he treat your children? Is he willing to sacifice his own pleasure (willing to die) for you? Are you willing to sacrifice your pleasure for him? Are we willing to die to our own worldly desires in order to truly live as Christ would have us live? Are we willing to drink of the cup?

This is not to say that we do not have a right to pleasure. Certainly God has blessed us with bodies with which to enjoy His many gifts, but sometimes we have to set aside what we want for the ones we love.

Watch his actions and listen to his words when he doesn't know you are. In those moments he will reveal himself. In moments of pressure or surprise, when a driver cuts him off on the road how does he react? When he locks his keys in his car? How he reacts at these little things will reveal how he will react to the bigger things and the spritual things.

Now consider Christ and the moneychangers at the Temple. Christ demonstrated an anger of justice, so there are times of justified anger or even frustration. If we know Christ we will know if he or she has a Christ like soul.

I hope this helps. It is somewhat hard to articulate, like answering the question, "How do you know you are in love?" Well, if you know Christ you will know when you are in love.

Why We Live: A New Season of "Call The Midwife"

Last night we watched the first episode of season three of Call The Midwife. In the episode a mother has a difficult delivery and is assisted by Chummy. While the deliveries in the show are not graphic the actresses portraying the mothers do express what I believe to be a realistic experience of child birth. As many of you know my only biological child (of which I am aware) was killed through abortion, so I have no experience of what it is like as a father to be in the room, to watch one's wife give birth to one's child.

In the scene the mother, in great pain attempts to push the baby out, but is unable to do so. As I watched, the sound of her cries were piercing, I clutched my hands together and curled my toes. I am sure my wife took delight in watching my contortions, but as often happens for me as I watch this series I was moved by the miracle of life. Not simply the biological fact of life, but the relationships, the sorrows and the joys that go along with life. A woman selflessly presents herself to suffer that a new life may be brought into the world. Where would I be if a woman, my mother, had not offered herself to "suffer" the nine months and finally the hours of labor, or in my case a C-section, in cooperation with God (and my father) to bring about...me.

I refuse to be ashamed as I tell you I am often moved to shed a tear as I watch Call The Midwife. As difficult as the lives for many of the families were at that time in the community depicted in the series (based on the memoirs of a midwife in 1950s London), the series also reveals the joy as when a mother, after crying out in pain holds her baby in her arms and smiles in wonder at this new life.

"When a woman is in travail she has sorrow, because her hour has come: but when she is delivered of the child, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a child is born into the world.
-John 16:21 (RSV)

Men, we can never know this kind of pain melting into this great joy for this is reserved for woman, the creature God gave to us as our helpmate. She has a special place in His plan. It is she who offers her body for a sacrifice. She who endures the pain. She who looks to us for companionship, comfort, security and love. We often change for the better because of her. She is why we live.

http://www.pbs.org/call-the-midwife/season-3/episode-1/

SAINT MOSES THE BLACK: What We Can Do

SAINT MOSES THE BLACK: What We Can Do

Rights - Freedom

When I was "pro-choice," about seven years ago, I thought what many pro-choicers and some who consider themselves pro-life think, that abortion is only legal up to the first three months of the pre-born baby's life. I later found out that because of Doe vs Bolton, a Supreme Court decision that occured at the same time as Roe vs Wade, allowed for the abortion (killing) of a pre-born baby throughout the entire nine months. When I tell people this the look on their face is usually one of disbelief. They seem shocked because first they can't believe this is allowed and then because they didn't know.

This really isn't surprising,  I mean who would think that people we vote for, people we trust would vote for and support such a thing, but we have seen it before. The Dred Scott decision determined that Negro slaves were property and not persons. The Nazis did the similarly with Jews, Gypsies and Blacks in Germany. People died in ovens down the road from where decent law abiding home owners lived and worked. Did they know what was happening down the road? Of course they did, but the chose to ignore it or at least to hope it wasn't happening. The same happens here and we go about our business ignoring the truth because the Truth is hard to take.

Rights, freedom, what meaning do these words have when truth is ignored.